Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Seriously, Sometimes I Wonder Why I'm Not Fired Already:

1) I tracked a package that I'd sent via FedEx to one of my authors, and the person who signed for it was J. Esus. JESUS! Signed for my package! I told this to everyone.

2) I had to e-copy (is it wrong that the e-copy machine is my favorite thing? and upstairs! they have a color e-copier that I can use!) something to a woman who was being VERY Difficult. Because she wanted me to do her job. So when the e-copier asked me to name the document I was sending her, I called it FB. If she asks me what that stands for, it's for Final Batch. If you ask, it's because she's a fucking bitch.

3) Apparently, people don't have enough to do at work, not at my work, but with people I do work with who work at other places. Because. They type. On POST-IT NOTES. Example:

This is unnecessary.

4) After talking to my company's accounts department, begging them to send out checks to people who've been waiting for them for months, the woman I was talking to hung up, and I placed the phone very gently in the reciever and said "whore" so loudly that people 2 cubes away started laughing.

But she totally deserved it.

19 comments:

Kat in da Hat said...

Tee hee...you remind me of me. FB is the best.

Liz said...

Whoa... JEsus signed for your package? I think this is a sign that you are allowed to shop again!

As for the FB... I'd just play it straight with her. Forget that "final batch" mess... just tell her what it really is!

Typing on post-its, means someone has way too much time on their hands and shouldn't be drawing a full paycheck.

Announcing that someone in another department is a whore is completely acceptable, and I for one think this is a perfect workplace announcement.

So basically, you're not getting fired.

The Bill's Special said...

FB is like when S. used to put "NFC" next to his calc. homework in h.s. When the teacher came around to look, he would say it meant "No Found Conclusion."

goirishkj said...

Well at least today you had cute new shoes to wear to work :)

e-liz said...

I'm so going to start typing on Post-it notes.

Now, I just need to find a typewriter...

mjg said...

Typing on Post-It Notes? That is a bit crazy!

If those are the only reasons for you to get fired then I would be in real trouble at that place.

SarahReznor said...

dude, this sounds like a day here. except we cant be fired coz our supervisor is much worse!

v said...

typing on a post-it ... hah, that's a bit much.

Airhead said...

Hahahaha, that's great! I've gotten caught yelling swear words in the office a couple of times, and considering that I'm the middle boss, that's bad.

craziequeen said...

ooh honey - I likes your new blog title.....very.........Spring-like :-)

[coughs] of course you haven't done the meme yet.....too busy buying new shoes? :-)

cq

librarian pirate said...

PRETTY new header! I love it!

Kat said...

Did you send me my present?

Virenda said...

I would LOVE to work with you, you sounds like a riot. FB, too funny I may have to use that in MY day to day life...

Oh and on a side note, LOVE the new header.

The J. Esus package is perfect. I will be telling people that and it wasn't even my package.

jargonscout said...

If they fired you, they would lose their personal daily fashion show! And a darn witty writer.

PS - Do you know who this is yet?

Goodbye Mes Amis said...

Very funny. What do people say when they catch you taking pics of typed post-its?
I'm still attached to the old header. I guess this one is okkkkk... (said with a whiny voice).

Kelly said...

I like the typed post-it note. Now that is a person with too much time on their hands.

TheIdleReceptionist said...

At my last job I got introuble by my idiot boss because I called a manager from another office (that hung up on me) a bitch after I put down the reciever (everyone in the office cursed all the time, particularly him). Turns out she was his girlfriend! HAH! He scolded me like a five year old for "swearing in the office". So I had to go back and call his ass on it that it was just because it was this asshats girlfriend that he got his panties in a bunch. Fekking work.

TheIdleReceptionist said...

Wait--isn't typing on Post-Its an infallible sign of Not-Having-Been-Laid-Itis?

Carmi said...

Why on EARTH would they fire you? You bring much-needed humanity and comic relief to the workplace.

Hell, if they ever fire you, I can think of a zillion places who would love to have a real person like you on staff.