1) I tracked a package that I'd sent via FedEx to one of my authors, and the person who signed for it was J. Esus. JESUS! Signed for my package! I told this to everyone.
2) I had to e-copy (is it wrong that the e-copy machine is my favorite thing? and upstairs! they have a color e-copier that I can use!) something to a woman who was being VERY Difficult. Because she wanted me to do her job. So when the e-copier asked me to name the document I was sending her, I called it FB. If she asks me what that stands for, it's for Final Batch. If you ask, it's because she's a fucking bitch.
3) Apparently, people don't have enough to do at work, not at my work, but with people I do work with who work at other places. Because. They type. On POST-IT NOTES. Example:
This is unnecessary.
4) After talking to my company's accounts department, begging them to send out checks to people who've been waiting for them for months, the woman I was talking to hung up, and I placed the phone very gently in the reciever and said "whore" so loudly that people 2 cubes away started laughing.
But she totally deserved it.