Monday, April 10, 2006

Yeah, I Think It's All a Fake

Katie Holmes announced her pregnancy 7 months ago.

Gwenyth Paltrow managed to produce a baby while only being publicly pregant since January (that's less than 4 months!).

And for those of you out there unaware, it's bad luck and just generally not done to tell anyone, much less the crazy news media, that you're pregnant in the first trimester because it's really easy to lose a baby before then.

So I spent all day googling "Alien Baby Gestation" to find out when this 10 months in the oven baby's going to be born.

My guess as to when Katie will give birth? When Tom manages to wave a $6 million payout under the nose of woman 9 months pregnant with a human child, preferably with pale skin and dark hair. I mean, celebrities have home births for a reason - they're faking it.


jane said...

Is it going to be 10 months? It seems like it's been 4 or 5, but I'm older, so time flies. As for Gwyneth, I'm just glad she didn't name her son Orange or Banana.

Anonymous said...

Good Day, My Compadres:

I am the Quest Master. I bear ill tidings: the Northern Chalice of Blog Wisdom has been lost. You have been handpicked to join the quest to recover the Northern Chalice.

We will search far and wide. We will leave no corner of the blogosphere unturned. And we will be victorious in our dual quest for blog traffic and the return of the great Northern Chalice.

The names of your Blog Titles have been scrambled into anagrams. Once a day you will receive an email from me, The Quest Master, informing you that a clue, in the form of a letter of the alphabet, has been found.

The clue, in the form of a letter, will be placed in a current day comment in one of your blogs as listed under chosen blogs below. To find the clue, you will need to visit every blog in the list and search the comments for a post from me, The Quest Master. Again, I emphasize, the comment will be placed on the most current post of the blog at the time so there will be no need in searching through dozens of posts and comments. You may however, need to visit every blog on the list if you are unlucky enough to find the clue right away.

Find the clue and record the letter somewhere safe. The Witch of the Lesser Southern Isles will be attempting to steal your clues, so guard them carefully.

You will be notified by email when the next clue has been placed. As soon as possible after this email notification, search for the next clue.

As you collect letters, you will attempt to unscramble them. The letters will ultimately reveal the name of one of the participating blogs below.

Successfully unscramble the name of the blog, and you will recover the Northern Chalice of Blog Wisdom and receive all appropriate honors and riches.

1. the first compadre to successfully unscramble the blog name to find the North Chalice of Wisdom will win 250 Blog Explosion Credits AND A $50 Gift Package from Mystickal Incense and More.

2. Five 2nd Place prizes of 50 Blog Explosion Credits will be randomly awarded to those who participate on a daily basis.

3. Each compadre may only make ONE guess per day.

4. All guesses must be made by email to me, the Quest Master, at

5. Anyone who can figure out who I, the Quest Master, am will receive an additional prize.

6. The Quest will begin with the revelation of the first clue at 12:00 Noon Eastern Daylight Time, and will end when the first correct guess has been made and submitted to me, the Quest Master.

7. If you wish not to participate, you have until Noon on Wednesday, Eastern Daylight time to request to be removed from this quest.


The Quest Master
Blog Quest Version 1: The Search for the Northern Chalice of Wisdom

The Cartoonist They Call the Stik
The Pink Shoe
Jaws Was A Lady
Pointless Drivel
Poodle and Dog Blog
Perspectives of a Nomad
Jetting Through Life
Meltwater. Torrents. Meanderings. Delta.
Mystickal Incense and More blog
the Flip Side
Full Metal Photography
Living With Multiple Personalities
Happy blank Day blog
Utenzi blog
This Circus I Call My Life
Jazz Coffee
The Dramedy of Life
My Opinion On Sports

Summer said...

I want to comment on the alien baby but, I just read the anonymous comment. Holy crap! You're included in an internet quest? You even have an opportunity to win 'Mystikal Incense'!

Hmmm, the same day you post alien ideas and an anonymous alien contacts you. I don't even know what to make of this hilarity.

Kat said...

I think it's a fake, too.

And I've been bad. I usually stop by your blog every five minutes or so to see if anything's new. But I have been trying to finish an article (not yet), trying to get good sleep (sort of happened), and trying to get stuff done at work (failed miserably). But I love the design, and actually I was thinking about having Nello redo mine, too!

mjg said...

Did an anonymous scientologist visit your site? Very strange...

Anyway, I think you can count on the baby being "born" closer to the release date of MI:3. Crazy Cruise is all about the organized timing of the publicity machine.

anne said...

I do love the new additions of cute pink shoes! :)

Liz said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE the new banner.

As for the alien baby, well, we all know that shit isn't real!

And your "Quest"... Well, I think the previous comment was right when it noted that it was an amazing conincidence that particular comment showed up here at the mention of the alien takeover!

e-liz said...

Alien baby! Alien baby!

e-liz said...

PS-maybe the quest master is going to bring the alien baby from a galaxy far far away.

craziequeen said...

It is with great pleasure that Her Majesty invites you to the first Royal Blog Party at Craziequeen’s Palace on Thursday 13 April, commencing at 10pm BST (British Summer Time).

Jen said...

She is not pregnant. She is definitely carrying a beach ball. She doesn't even look pregnant. Hilarious post. Totally agree.

Jen said...

BTW-What the hell is going on with the first post. Random. Quest for a chalice. What the hell??

v said...

I'm totally with you Marse!

I saw some recent pics and it looked really fake. I agree with MJG, they'll annouce a birth near the MI:3 release date.

H-Wood is so bat-guano insane!

PS - dude, what's with this quest master stuff? are you playing dungeons and dragons? hah.

erinberry said...

Katie Holmes' belly totally looks fake. If you haven't seen it yet, check out the photo of her on this blog! It's insane looking!

I hope you win big from the Quest Master. *snark*

(And thank you for the nice sentiment you posted on my blog!)

Marcia said...

Dude, the Quest is WEIRD. I'm scared of the quest people.

Ryan Oakley said...

There is no way Tom Cruise put his penis in a woman. Just saying. And, if he did, the Theatans would kidnap the child.

Jane (ex-roommate) said...

well - I guess actually not having to have a child is going to make that scientology "silent birth" thing much easier.