"I found out today that my coworker, who smells and who I really don't like, collects pink shoes. Except her pink shoes are frumpy and ugly and the whole thing really kinda pisses me off because I don't like her and I do like you."
From my college roommate, J-Sto.
What I love best is that this was the entire text of the email.
Y'all would tell me if my shoes were frumpy and ugly, right?