Sunday, May 07, 2006

Facts About ALIENS:

1) Be careful of aliens that appear to be a big pile of goo. Because you just can't trust a big pile of goo.

2) Many people will tell you that if you're abducted by aliens to strike at their eyes. This is wrong. You'll spend too much time trying to figure out which part of them is actually their eyes to have this be of any use. I would suggest trying to convince them that you're too important and powerful to anal probe.

3) Most likely, aliens come in peace. Either that or world domination.

4) Aliens may or may not subsist soley on solar power. Try saying that 3 times fast: Subsist solely on solar power.

5) Remember: Aliens are just like humans. Except for their home planets, physiology, and space travel and mind reading abilities.

14 comments:

Goodbye Mes Amis said...

Have you noticed that the aliens who are disguised as "scientologists" seem to have a large fleet of airplanes and pilot's licenses?
This is worrisome.
Thanks for the compliment. I was trying to look serious and severe!
LOL

Liz said...

You forgot a very important fact!

Aliens feed on the souls of ugly people. When in doubt, sacrifice the most busted looking person in your vicinity in order to save yourself! If Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that the beautiful people are always the ones to survive hostile alien attacks... This is also why hillbillies are the ones so frequently abducted.

Lena said...

Any post that starts with a Gary Larson makes me happyyy.

#3 - especially treu. They're rarely ambivalent.

TheIdleReceptionist said...

That is completely necessary information and I shall remember it next time I meet with The Bobs.

doggerelblogger said...

Personally, I think Aliens get a bad rap (I almost wrote "wrap", which would have been funny). After all, they seem to want to help us, you know? They write books like How to Serve Humans - I mean, that's all good, right?

Aliens are our little buddies from outer space. No need to be afraid!

SarahReznor said...

i'm gonna print that one out and make myself a wallet card. i think this is my favorite facts post! and i love the far side!!!

liz - there is one problem with your theory - beck.

Liz said...

Sarah, Beck is a "Scientologist" (read: "ALIEN" That is the only reason he's still among us.

e-liz said...

Very important info! Thank you. I really thought that the eyes were the thing to go for. Thanks again for the update!

SarahReznor said...

oooooooooooooohhh... i get it... my mistake.

Summer said...

For some reason this very topic has been on my mind lately. Thanks so much for the information.

v said...

Hah. Greatest Facts About Ever!

If aliens do subsist solely on solar power, we should ask them to hook us up with the technology. If they ask for a trade we can give them Nicole Richie or something.

Dustin said...

i can safely say that i can sleep well tonight now that i know this.

thanks

....

Airhead said...

This was one I was unaware of. I can now go to work being more knowledgable than I was yesterday.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

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