So here's what happened: A family friend of my in-laws stopped by and dropped off something.
It's what he'd shot that morning: two pheasants.
Matt, obviously, insisted that I cook them that night, instead of my mother-in-law throwing them in the freezer for forever, so that she'd never have to deal with them. Which is basically the sensible thing to do.
So, I washed them off, cleaned them out (Thankfully they'd already been plucked, gutted, and had their heads removed. I would have refused to do that.). Then I put them in a pretty container (To combat the general icky-ness of the situation.).
Next came stuffing them with onions, trussing their legs, and covering them with bacon. Because everything is better with a little bacon grease on it. And because pheasants are very lean birds, and you can't roast them as long as they need to be roasted without adding some fat.
The pheasants were roasted for 40 minutes in a very hot oven (400 or so), and came out looking mostly awesome.
Next, I got to take them apart. Because you have to cook these suckers for a very long time. and they'll cook faster when you get rid of all the skin, bones, and whatnot.
And then throw them on top of some cooked wild rice and douse the whole thing with a beef-based sauce full of onions, garlic, parsley, and oregano that I'd concocted and had simmering on the stove while the pheasants were roasting.
Another hour in the oven, slightly less hot this time, and there's a yummy, rich sauce enveloping some delicious, if slightly game-y, (it's GAME, of course it's game-y!) pheasant. On a yummy bed of wild rice, impregnated with all the same flavors.
Now, I'm not sure I'll ever make Pheasant again. And I didn't LOVE it, but it was actually fun to make, and Matt certainly enjoyed eating fresh-killed pheasant (When, in this world, can you ever eat something the same day it was alive? Sick, but probably more delicious than frozen.), and I got a story to tell. So all in all, awesome.