The Death of Squirmy

It was a very sad weekend for my department. As you may remember, last month a little gecko was found in the storage room at work. (If you don't remember, here's a link.) We bought the little inch and a half long critter a terrarium, a water dish, some dead flies and some gourmet dead crickets. We even went so far as to light and heat his home with a PetSmart heat lamp.

Alas, the lizard with many names (Squirmy, The Vault, TV, The Crazy Lizard Over There With the EAs....), while visiting the home of E-Liz, woke up dead Sunday morning. E-Liz reports that his last days were spent basking in the sun on the side of his water dish and licking his eyeballs. He was burried underneath the tallest tree outside of E-Liz's apartment, 3 trowels deep into the ground. The follow eulogy, was read by Adam over his grave:

Today we pay respects to our lizard brother, Squirmy “The Vault” of Elsevier. Truly he brought warmth into our hearts with his sticky toes and blinking eyes, and the wiggling of his striped tail. And yet, the glare of artificial light and the mushed crickets upon which he was meant to break his fast were not enough for Squirmy, who remembered all too well, hot, sunny days basking upon a banana leave, licking his eyeballs while waiting for sweet, sugary gnats. Brothers and sisters, today he walks upon the finger of Jesus, who no doubt is smiling upon him now, and is preparing a spot for him amongst the trees of heaven. We may rest assured, that while he was never offered a chance to pitch insurance, he will now feast upon the fruit of the tree of life. And while we will miss our little friend, we should take solace in the words of Don McClean, who wrote, “This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.” Rest in peace little Squirmy. A-men.

Please pay your respects (in the comments section) to the lizard that brightened our days for too short of a time.