Thursday, December 08, 2005

2 Quick Stories and a Surprise:

Story 1: Why I Hate the Passport People

Ok, so I've had a passport for most of my life. More than 1 passport. And I've never had a problem with the passport people. Until now.

When I got married, I changed my name. It's a common thing to do. And when I'd finally gotten the new driver's license, the new social security card, the new everything, I went to go get a new passport. I had 5, almost 6 weeks before I was leaving on my honeymoon to Paris (now? 2 weeks.), and so I needed to do the Super Fast Quick passport application. I mailed them my old passport, my original marriage license, a big long form, and buckets of money. And... Nothing. Nada. It was supposed to take 2 weeks, and at this point it's been 3. My passport application hasn't even begun to have been processed... it could possibly be lost. They claim to know nothing about it, and that it's their "busy season." Boo fucking hoo. I have a tracking number that shows it got to the passport office... but since Nov. 19th, who knows what happened to the damn thing.

I have an appointment, though, on Dec. 16th (the first appointment they had), with my regional passport office, where I can apply in person, give them my birth certificate and a certified copy of my marriage license (as they have the original in a pit of hell somewhere) and again, throw buckets of money at them, and I can get my passport in 1 to 3 days.

Did I mention that "my regional passport office" is in CHICAGO? That's... five and a half hours away. And I'm going to have to miss the company Christmas party (read: drunkfest) to go do this.

But they could still find and process my passport application. So... I'm a little stressed out here.

Story 2: Why I Hate Snow in Missouri

They don't plow, they don't salt, they don't know how to drive, and they're all idiots.

Surprise: I've never seen the movie Carrie.

But I'm changing that tonight.


Logan said...

1. It is, unfortunately, their busy season, and morons galore have probably been hired to "help out". Be patient, hon -- just keep your fingers crossed.

2. The same situation applies here in Tennessee. The only time I've ever seen them salt the roads was last year on my birthday, when we had a huge snowstorm blow through. They of course knew it was coming and didn't do anything about it 'til the next day, around noon-ish, for maybe an hour or so before the salt trucks disappeared for another year.

3. I'm sorry, but that's whole-heartedly unexcusable. Were you not about to remedy this, I'd recommend just clubbing yourself with a kitchen ladel before somebody else did.

The Other White Matt said...

Boy, nothing beats government service, eh? If you do end up having to come to Chicago, though, drop me a line. We'll drink. It'll be good.

muse-in-training said...

Red Tape Hell? Sucks!
Missing drunkfest? Sucks!
Snow sans plows? Sucks!
Carrie? Fabulous! I hope you enjoy it!

John said...

I think you should take a few pointers from Carrie when you finally confront the passport people...

markus said...

i agree, john!

Jen said...

John comment is hilarious BTW. It took them seven weeks to get my passport to me before I went backpacking through Europe. I got it two days before we had to leave!!! I was completely stressed out!

Kiki said...

The snow situation in Michigan is no better. They don't plow residential streets. My car almost stroked out getting to the highway this morning.

Jsto said...

1) I think God secretly hates you too.

2) Remember that Passions episode that was supposed to be like Carrie? I used to love that show.

Liz said...

You're coming to Chicago!?!?!? HOLY COW! I live in Chicago, and I can tell you, we know how to handle snow here!

How else would we get to the bar?

Anonymous said...

Good luck on #3. You'll soon find that waiting for your passport is rather minor as compared to Carrie's plight... hahaha... -Neal

librarian pirate said...

ooh! oooh! Don't you have FAMILY in Chicago? Family with the cutest of all possible cute kittens that they very much want you to meet? And I can give you your Christmas Present and not have to mail it? Yes? Yes?