Monday, March 20, 2006

My Office is Usually Funny and Good Natured, But Not Today: A Story in Pictures

This morning a rather odd, mean sign appeared in the room that only holds a super-fast copier, and is not really near much else:

Now, as I just said, this little room isn't really near anything - it's basically off of a hallway, so no one's working without a wall between the room and them, within 15 feet. And. It's rare that there's more than 1 person is in the room, and if there is, the extent of the conversation usually is, "Hey, did something just print out on letterhead? Can you grab it for me? Thanks!" It's not really the place for a gabfest. So that whole "No Talking!" thing is completely unnecessary. Especially since all the people who were in any sort of proximity to the copy room were questioned and claimed to have never complained about any sort of noise.

The feeling in the office is that if the sign had been worded differntly, it would have been accepted without a thought. If it read, "Please remember that people are working nearby. Please keep your conversations quiet," or something to that effect, my coworkers would have shrugged and thought it was fine. But when you put "No Talking!" where it's obviously unnecessary, people who are intelligent and... unfriendly to this sort of bitchy wording will retaliate.

So, about midmorning, a printed label was slapped on the sign - it read, "Violators will be Dick Cheney'd without warning!" This may have been done as the result of a triple-dog-dare from a coworker, but I would have no idea about that. However, by 1 o'clock, someone had placed more blank labels over the top of the funny label.

See? If you look really close (you can click on it to see it enlarged), you can see the words underneath that were so funny.

So. Time for you to be involved. What is the wording of the funny label that should be placed on the sign tomorrow AM?


TotalChaos said...

So, what if I talk out the "other" end?

Jess Riley said...

Plug your Piehole!

That was the first thing I thought of. For further alliterative effect, you could insert the word "please" before "plug." :)

Janet said...

I never knew the around the copier conversations had gotten so out of hand.

Leave it to those double sided copiers to stab you in the back.:(

Virenda said...

LOL, well I'm glad people took it upon themselves to um insert other suggestions. Makes office time more fun.

Yeah stuff like that could be worded better...

blog Portland said...

Someone at your office is on a serious power trip.

It may be wise to take some yellow tape and mark off all sections on the floor where people are allowed to talk freely.

Anonymous said...

Less talkie, more walkie.

TheIdleReceptionist said...

"Respect our authoritay"

AnthonyLemons said...

Fun has to be implemented in work environments, even little labels of fun help the day go faster. Make sure more funny labels are posted.

AnthonyLemons said...

"Silence is for those who have no intelligence to speak so."

doggerelblogger said...

How about, "Live free or die!"

poop said...

Shhh! The copier is working.

Anonymous said...

Having worked personally with some of the people in your office, I'm not surprised at all.

Summer said...

The Dick Cheney one was so good, it gave me mental block. You could try:

'Share your mind with your co-workers and keep your conversations to a maximum around the water cooler.'

RC the Slacker in Training said...

The fact that you turned "Dick Cheney" into a verb makes me grin. Oh, but of course, you have /cough nothing /cough /cough to do with that.
Well, whoever this "mysterious" prankster may be, he/SHE has quite a few options.
She could stick with the political, "Brought to you by the HomelAnd secuRity Deputy force fOr an amendmeNt-free copy Space;"
go Elementary, "A voice level three is appropriate. Two may be too low for the copier, and four or five are right out;"
or my favorite (what I would do were I an intelligent, belligerent coworker), stick lots and lots of blank labels on top of the "corrective" label so that it's at least a half inch thick. (colored labels work too - like the colored dots!)

Michael said...

Put a small white label over "to a minimum"

The sign would then read:
Please be mindful of your co-workers and keep your conversations around the copier.



Make 100 copies of the sign; cover the walls of a conference room with them.


Put little "I wish I had friends" thought bubbles over the annoyed people in the clip art.

Zee said...

LOL! What a concept!

v said...

"Violators will have their autos un-pimped"

Marcia said...

We went with "Violators will be towed at owners' expense."

A close runner up was "Silence is for those who have no intelligence to speak," but there was a fear that it would be construed as mean. And really, we don't want to get fired.

Amazingly, the little sticker stayed up all day, but I'm afraid it'll be down again tomorrow morning. And there are all sorts of fun quotes to choose from!

Goodbye Mes Amis said...

I love everybody's ideas and now I can't think of a damn thing. I love the Dick verb thing too!
How about a quote from an old song?
"And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence."

or maybe the next stanza is better:

""Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence"

Kat said...

That "Cheney'd" note was PRICELESS.

Kat in da Hat said...

I smell an Office Services rat. They are the police here. "Remember Ladies, we are all LADIES!" was posted in our ladies room. Someone (and, really, it wasn't me) wrote, "Except for you messy pigs that keep fvcking up the bathroom." I laughed and laughed and laughed.
About 2 hours later, I went back, and the sign was gone.


Anonymous said...

My favorite sign is the one in the bathroom that says, "Save paper!" and has a lady in a skirt with her leg hiked up and the hand dryer on.

But for your sign, you can just having something that says, "I have a small penis."