Sunday, May 14, 2006
Facts About SHARKS:
1) Sharks have been around for 400 million years. Probably because they eat everything. EV. REY. Thing.
2) If Richard Dreyfuss comes to your house, he'll bring two bottles of wine - one white, one red. Probably both bad. And then he'll ensnare you in his shark hunting craziness that will probably result in your death.
3) Because of all the biting, chewing, and ripping that sharks do, their teeth take a beating. Sharks are always growing new teeth, and may have up to 20,000 different teeth in their lives.
4) Their "bones" are made of cartilage. If I had made up a song about "Serge, the Singing Shark" in college, one of the verses would have been about how the Serge's bone are made of cartilage. But I wouldn't have done that. And I was never in possession of a little stuffed animal named Serge the Shark. Really.
5) Shark babies are called "pups." But I don't think that they're as cute as dog pups. And they're probably nasty little f'ers. They'd bite your arm off.
6) Claiming that things (tv shows, celebrities, etc) have "jumped the shark" has actually itself jumped the shark. It's all very meta, and I like that.
7) I think that the reason people are scared of sharks is becuase they have awesome names. Tiger. Great White. Hammerhead. Bull. They have really good PR.