Monday, August 28, 2006

I Can't Blog Today. Matt's Filling In.

I'm not good with knives. Well, I am. I can dice an onion in under a minute. A fine dice. But... about 5% of the time, I'll also dice my finger.

My senior year in college, my roommate and I had dinner parties every Friday night, and at least half of the parties had one of my wrapped in paper towels and dripping blood.

When I moved to St. Louis, I finally bought a nice set of knives. I called my old roommate, Jane (yes, the one that sent me the "Think Pink" beach ball), and told her. Her response? "Have you cut yourself yet?" I had to say yes.

I've cut my fingers at least twice since I moved to Akron, but tonight was the big one. It's been over an hour, and I'm still bleeding. And in pain. And taking my favorite pain killer: a combination of wine and Tylenol.

So, that's why I can't blog today. And, luckily, Matt wants to share something with the Internet. So here you are.


Like many secretly good-hearted misanthropes, I have taken a substantial liking to Dr. House from the eponymous show. Tonight's Actor's Studio rerun on Bravo featured Hugh Laurie, the unapologetically british-sounding England native--genius--who gives life to Dr. House.

Sidenote: (and, yes, I know I am not the first person to make this observation) Will Ferrell's take on James Lipton is not only hysterical, its uncannily accurate--Ferrell could stand (sit) in, ask the form questions ("what is your favorite word?" "what is your least favorite word?") no one would be the wiser .

Anyway, my Dr. House man crush and my affinity for mid-70s Tom Waits dovetailed perfectly in this, which, as Marcia explained, I feel compelled to share with the internet:

19 comments:

Ashley said...

Are you sure you dont need stiches Marica...I cut myself with just s regular knife and I needed stiches and the Dr. brought other Doctors into the room just to say , " look how deep and horrible she cut herself with just a normal knife." AND LAUGHED.Ugh I hope you are feeling better. Can we chat soon??

SarahReznor said...

sorry Marcia :( fell better honey. hi Matt! good post :)

goirishkj said...

Marcia: I hope you feel better! I'm not allowed to use our big sharp knife because I dice my appendages too easily. Last year I destroyed my thumb with a pie server (no, I'm not joking at all, sadly) And thanks for the tips on the straight iron! Round one turned out OK, but I think I need a little more practice, though I need to balance practice with not frying my hair.

Matt: Funny post. I watched my first House episode last week and I must admit, I'm quite intrigued. Misanthropes are FUN!

e-liz said...

Hi Matt! Thanks for sharing with the internet. I've recently discovered that I like House.

Marcia, maybe you need to hire someone to do the chopping?

Angela said...

If you cut your finger off completely, I've heard that some doctors are willing to cut off a toe (yours, not theirs) and attach it to the missing finger site.

I may or may not live with someone who has had this procedure performed. And I STILL think it's funny to ask him to remove his toe from the Pringles.

Virenda said...

First off I LOVE House and I LOVE Dr. House and that video makes me want to touch him more. So thanks Marcia's husband Matt.

Marcia you HAVE to be careful cause next time it could be your whole finger or a ligament. No more chopping anything, you worry me. Hope you get better soon.

Debbie said...

I cut myself two weeks ago and didn't go to the hospital because I didn't think it was a big deal. I can no longer feel anything in the tip of my left thumb.

I saw this episode and that song is really funny.

Chris said...

Make sure that when you cut yourself that you properly accessorize. A contrasting shoe color would be best.

TSN said...

Oh Marcia! You need to be more careful of those cute little fingers of yours!!! They are necessary for bloggins and writing and oh-so-many other important things.

I thought of you when I was chopping onions tonight. I've never cut myself chopping before, but I figure there has to be a first time for everything. I was extra careful today.

And, nice blogging, Matt! You should take it up yourself!

juliedooley said...

A drinking party in college once ended with me trying to cut off the (metal) cap-ring-thing around the top of my empty wine cooler bottle with a brand-new Swiss army knife and instead cutting a CHUNK out of the top of my thumb.
What can you learn from this? If you've cut a chunk out, go to the hospital and get a big piece of gauze wrapped around it and a piece of paper teaching you about "partial amputations." Otherwise, you may also want to go to the hospital and get stitches instead. But either way, if it's still bleeding you might want to get that checked out...

and tell Matt that as long as he doesn't like JenMo's character on House, I'm OK with him watching ;) Hugh Laurie is pretty cool.

v said...

Sorry Marse, I guess I glanced over the part in which you cut your finger off. Seriously, I hope you are okay and like others have mentioned please go to a doctor and get it checked out.

And Matt, great post bud. Perhaps you're like me, I have a Hugh Laurie man crush, a Jon Stewart man crush, a Brad Pitt man crush (oh, not going there?), but I don't have a Will Ferrell man crush because I'm afraid he'll ring my doorbell at 2am and say, "It's go time!"

doggerelblogger said...

Cutting your fingers off is bad. I hate when I do that.

Mr. Dr. House Man somehow manages to sound uncannily like Billie Holliday. I had no idea he was British - ?

Lindsay said...

MARCIA! I took care of a guy with a severed finger yesterday! nearly amputated! and then this... THIS happens. My God, we are so connected it's scary. But are we sure you don't need medical attention?

And I heart when Matt posts. He's so smart sounding! I make up big words when I drunk blog, but you KNOW he so uses those in every day situations. I can totally see me being all, "Hey, Matt, how about that um, law case." and he would totally throw a line like, "Ah, yes! My fellow attorney, in an eleemosynary gesture, resounded as clearly as a pendant on a broach on my favorite crisp dress shirt. But I recognize that I am something of a vox clamans in terris in this area... ha ha ha"

Tabitha Dial said...

So glad that Matt can type on your behalf. :: hug ::

Cat said...

Oh my goodness- Marica, be careful! Blood entries give me the heebie-jeebies. I'd be much happier if we could go back to knitting. Thanx.

;-)

P.S. I love House, too!!!

bryan said...

Am I the only one who notices the whole House/doctor/knife accidents theme? It's like you two were almost thinking on the same wavelength.

bobealia said...

who knew??

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