Sunday, August 27, 2006

Facts About KNITTING:


1. Once upon a time, I used to do posts I called "Facts About..."

2. Then I got busy. I know, I'm sorry. All sorts of summer travel, natural disasters, and life-changing events got in the way.

3. Through it all, Logan bugged me to do a very special "Facts About..." post.

4. I've finally gotten around to it.

5. Even though I pride myself in being "very crafty," I'm kind of le shitty when it comes to knitting. Not le shit, but le shitty.

6. My grandmother would cringe, as she supported herself and her three children (including sending all of them to college) after her husband died by opening a knit-shop, and teaching everyone in my hometown between the ages of 40 and 60 how to knit.

7. My grandmother rocks at knitting. She a) used to make patterns for McColl (or some other large pattern-making company. I'm not completely sure.), b) knit golf shirts for my grandfather and father. And these things are feather-weight. Honestly, 15 stitches per square inch. I don't know how a real person did that. I thought only machines did that.

8. Once upon a time, back in our early courtship, I knit Matt a scarf for his mid-winter birthday.

It did not turn out well.

I know he loves me, but he still only wore that thing once or twice.

But he still has it.

9. I then crocheted a blanket for my brother. This turned out much better.

Apparently, the two needles confused me. I work better with one.

10. My other grandmother? Also a fabulous knitter. I honestly don't know how the gene skipped me.

But I take pride in the fact that I'm better at counted cross-stitch than she was.

Oh God, I'm such a dork.

11. Honestly, if you want to learn about knitting, you're much better off asking him, her, her, or my grandmother. Because I'm no good. But keep reading me anyway! I made salsa today, and if it turns out well, I'll tell you all about it...

10 comments:

Charlie the Unicorn said...

The salsa is hotter than the "the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango!" ("Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.")

Special Shoe Prize for the first Pink Shoe reader to spot the (rather obvious) reference.

Sidenote: What's up w/ the C___ Ring-like wedding ring on the random knitting woman? That thing is thicker than the prehhhhsuhhhssss . . .

Crashtest Comic said...

I knit...

Logan said...

Yay! Yaaaaaaaaay! All those days of no knitting posts are now forgiven. Hell, I might even not grudge you for the first four points to this entry having nothing to do with real knitting content. ;)

You should knit something and write about it! Project Knitshit or something! :D

Frank said...

If Barthelme had had a blog, it would have read kind of like this post. Big ups.

anne said...

I have never even picked up the needles. I can sew like there's no tomorrow, but knitting has never been for me...salsa now, I can do salsa. :)

Cat said...

I bet you're waaay better at knitting than you let on.

Meanwhile, yes, I'm quite sure D would want to be friends. She's very friendly, like that.

Yes, I've seen Center Stage. Fan. Tast. Ic. I love poorly acted dancing movies! They're my favorite!

I hear Tupac had a good salsa recipe. I'll look into it for you.

-West Side, yo

jane said...

LOL this post has me smiling. Kudos to Matt for wearing that scarf, he definately must be head-over-heels in love. Just the fact that you know how many stitches per square inch impresses me. I'm sure that has some significance, but only a knitters granddaughter would know that. ;)

Crashtest Comic said...

i knit...

katie-q said...

I wish I had the patience to learn how to knit, I can sew, quilt, craft, bake, cook, garden, but to my mother's dismay, I can't knit.

Tabitha Dial said...

Great post. I think everybody has one thing they wish they knew how to do well. I was just thinking on Sunday how it'd be awesome to know how to knit so I could join a lovely group of cool ladies who knit things for charity. But I still want to throw pottery first and then there are other things I want to do... :: sigh ::

Katie-q kicks butt with her many talents. I can cook... that's about it...

And yes, Charlie, I noticed the ring, too. Can't make out your reference, though, m'dear.